give me love
by kinselllas
Summary: "And it's been awhile, but I still feel the same. Maybe I should let you go." 6x10 AU- the night before Dan's wedding to Serena.


**A/N: **_No idea what this is. Just a random one-shot I had written after the season 6 finale but was too bitter to post. Basically what I imagine happened the night before Dan's wedding. Very sad and bitter and kinda sucks but I figured I'd post it anyway. My wounds have healed by now (no they haven't.)_

_Just an FYI- This is very season 6 characterization of Blair, which mean she sucks, basically. _

Blair gets to the suite at 2 am, knocking repeatedly until Nate opens the door.

"Blair! Thank god you're here," he sighs with relief.

Nate had texted her less than an hour before, informing her of Dan Humphrey's intoxicated state on the night before his wedding. Normally Dan's name was something they skated over, unless it was in relation to Serena and their engagement. She didn't want to hear his name. She didn't want to think about him. Blair liked to pretend Dan Humphrey was just some stranger that Serena was planning to marry. It was easier that way. But when she got the text from Nate, she found it hard to say no. Her best friend would be heart broken if she found out the groom was having second thoughts at his bachelor party. She wasn't ready to put Serena through that, even if it meant she had to take this burden on her own shoulders. She would make sure that Dan would marry Serena tomorrow.

"Where is he?" she asks, annoyed at the crowd of frat boys parading around the suite.

This party was definitely not Dan's taste. Blair was sure Nate had a hand in that. Dan spent most of his time writing, with Serena, or with his family. He didn't go out to bars or to parties very often. Blair had a feeling he didn't even know a majority of these guys when the night began.

Nate leads her down a long hallway to a bathroom with cream tiles and gold walls. Dan's laying with his face against the toilet seat, his legs sprawled out underneath him. It's the saddest state she's ever seen him in. He had seen her vulnerable before- sitting alone at the end of a hallway, standing alone at a wedding party, hiding behind a curtain while Chuck hands his heart to someone else, fear of her unplanned pregnancy- but nothing compared to what she was seeing now. He looks exhausted and ragged, red eyes- dark circles underneath.

For a few moments Blair can't move. She doesn't know if she can handle taking care of him this way. But when he glances up at her, his shock is enough to send her back into focus.

"Fuck," he coughs out, trying to sit up, "I don't want her here."

"She's going to make sure you get home," Nate says over her shoulder.

"Blair, really? You could've asked anyone, and you asked Blair?"

Nate gives her an apologetic look before returning to the party and Blair wants to smack him for leaving her alone with Dan. He looks so weak and unsure, so unlike the regal confident Dan that she sees on the arm of Serena at parties.

"You're a sight for sore eyes," she says and kneels down next to him.

When Dan's eyes meet hers she sees a broken man. It causes her breath to catch in her throat.

"Just go," he grumbles, "I'll take care of myself."

Blair considers it for a few minutes. It's not as though she wants to be here, risking getting vomited on by Humphrey any second. Or worse, having him tell her how much he hates her the entire way home. No, she does not want that. She could be at home with Chuck and Henry right now.

But she can't leave him like this, not after everything.

"No, Dan."

Her voice saying his first name causes his eyes to soften slightly. With a slightly less hostile attitude, she takes the opportunity to slide under one of his arms, helping him up from the floor of the bathroom. He leans his weight onto her involuntarily and she tries to ignore the familiar feeling of being tucked into his side. As they walk down the hallway, a few guys call out to Dan and wish him luck on the wedding. He doesn't respond to any of them. His eyes rest are hazy as Blair pushes the door open and leads him to the elevator.

They ride the elevator in silence.

They ride in the town car in silence.

She helps him up to the loft in silence.

She undresses him down to his boxers in complete silence.

When he's finally under the covers and falling asleep, she moves to leave. Dan grabs her wrist.

"Thank you," he says.

"You're welcome."

He looks much more like the Dan she used to know, when they'd wake up in the morning and he'd struggle to open his eyes because sleep was yanking him back in and she would just smile at him because he was hers. Now he is not hers and she is not his and it makes her a little sad.

"It's been five years and I'm marrying your best friend," his thumb slides over her fingers, paying special attention to the one with the Harry Winston resting on it, "Are you ever going to stop ignoring me?"

Blair doesn't pull her fingers away. Not because she wants his touch, but because she had forgotten what it felt like to just be with him. She forgot what it felt like not to hate him, to actually look at him without tearing her gaze away when he returned eye contact.

"I suppose I've punished you enough," she says softly, smiling at him.

Dan closes his eyes for a few silent moments and she thinks he's fallen asleep, so she just watches. When they open again, they are sad and bitter, matching the smile on his face.

"I could've loved you for the rest of my life," he says, "Sometimes I still think I will."

"You're drunk. You and Serena will-"

"You made me happier than…well, anyone."

Blair's eyes begin to burn with tears and she blinks them away. He doesn't get to do this to her. Not after so much time has passed.

"You can't put that on me," she says and sniffs quietly, "Serena will make you happy."

"It's not the same," he mumbles, like a child who can't get his way.

Blair stands up, eager to leave this loft and all the memories it holds in it. She wants to return to the Empire to be with her husband, the man she chose to marry. Her destiny- _although they didn't use that phrase much anymore. It didn't seem to make much sense once nothing was in their way. _As she moves to open his bedroom door, his voice stops her.

"Did you ever love me?" Dan asks and the question slams into her like a pile of bricks. She carefully composes herself before turning around and takes a deep breath.

"If I say yes, will it change anything?"

"Yes," he says definitively.

"Then no."


End file.
